Haagan - Dazs should make its own app , you may just see a coke - up branding executive director typewriting into a sweat - soaked BlackBerry after wrestling a sawbuck to the background with his nude hands . And so they did , they builta Haagen - Dazs appthat ’s really a three-D augment world violin concerto . It ’s wonderful and ugly , and it ’s everything .
Imagine being the ice cream chief who first got the memoranda about Haagen - Dazs Concerto Timer .
“ Just as wine needs to take a breather , Häagen - Dazs ® ice cream needs to soften for a few arcminute after you remove your cartonful from the freezer . ”
OK , I ’m good with this .
This direction , you could try out all the racy and creamy flavor of our fresh reality - family component .
Sure , OK .
And that ’s why we created the Häagen - Dazs Concerto Timer app .
That sound more or less ri — throw on . Concerto ?
Just open up the app and point your camera at the lid of any Häagen - Dazs carton , and you will instantly experience a virtual fiddle concerto perfectly timed to allow your Häagen - Dazs ice cream to soften to the perfect consistence for a mouthful that ’s truly made like no other . ®
Goddammit .
As absurd as this may seem , though , it ’s basically all 99.99999 percent of apps are . Haagen - Dazs Concerto Timer is pretty much a perfect distillment of what micturate up every dumb app .
Here ’s a trouble no one really has , clear in a direction that has nothing to do with anything , and using engineering advanced enough to basically out - do genuine magic spells . There is no understanding for this to survive . It ’s foreign in all of the bad ways technology is extraneous . It is an abhorrence .
And it ’s also kind of delightful . Your mom would probably adore your little violin - dally phone arrive at a charming 3-D person appear every time she opens a new vat of ice cream . And that ’s not even stimulate into the fact that Haagen - Dazs is also for some cause donate $ 5 to help hold open bees if you download its fiddle app , which makes zero linear sense but is a nice gesture ( like the app itself ! ) .
Apps make no sense . The App Store is a detritus drawer . dust drawers are n’t so speculative , sometimes .
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